Anxiety, Mental Health

Anxiety Disorder Is a Bitch!

When you don’t notice your anxiety, that’s how you know your anxiety is abating. Does that make sense?

To people with anxiety, I’m sure it does. To people wanting to know more about anxiety – it’s like this.

Anxiety disorder is a sneaky bitch and, in my experience, comes in three distinct forms.

In my recent post entitled Anxiety Sufferers – Know Thyself, I wrote about my journey with anxiety as it pertains to the come out of nowhere kind of anxiety. This is when your fight-or-flight brain chemistry kicks in for no damned good reason, and you’re left panting and sweating and breathing hard and essentially scared out of your wits.

The second kind is somewhat like the first type. You are in a constant state of unease – like waiting for the shoe to drop when there’s nothing really going on. You can’t relax. You’re angst-y and agitated, but you don’t know why.

The third kind is trigger-based. Easier to understand as it is associated with something that happens. Everybody has this, but for anxiety disorder sufferers, it is very pronounced.

Normal person: Crap! I can’t believe that happened.

My recent struggles have been with these last two. Bouts of the sky is falling with general unease as the baseline. This, of course, is NOT okay, and so, following my adage of know thyself, I sought medical attention. And there’s no overnight remedy to this. These symptoms worsen over time, so, it takes time to encourage them to abate.

My doctor: So, how’s your anxiety?
Me: I haven’t noticed it!
My doctor and me together: THAT’S FANTASTIC!

This time, it’s taken seven months (from the tipping point) of doctor’s visits, therapy sessions, repeated exposure to positivity, (lots of) rest, and two drug modification to achieve this plateau. I’m grateful! And yet, the journey continues. Like I said, anxiety disorder is a bitch.

2 thoughts on “Anxiety Disorder Is a Bitch!”

  1. Hello Liana;

    My name is Jess Abram, I’m from Oklahoma City, and I am reaching, “The End Game!”

    I stumbled across your info, I guess in some last moment ditch to level myself a bit, and was rather intrigued after reading your posts…

    Believe it or not my Major was, Psychology… lol’. I can help everyone else, yet, heal thyself, … is futile…. My intrigue came when reading your post, and the method of finding that one thing, I said to myself, damn, this is what I’ve always said to others, time and time again… In fact, it’s the first thing I recommend, immediately, when dealing with despair… Of late, I just can’t seem to tap into that one thing, long enough, to sway my thought process.

    I am mentally, and physically drained, and I am in the process of getting my affairs in order, and then I’m going to disappear…. I’m 49, and approaching, 50, in January, and I can’t imagine going into another year/s in my current state of mind. I believe, … I’ve been around, long enough…..


    1. Hi Jess,

      I’m glad you reached out – and I apologize for taking so long to respond.

      My “one thing” to look forward to at that time (my very lowest time) was pretty big (my daughter’s wedding) so I was lucky. Despite how big it was, the despair I was feeling waylayed this wonderful event in my mind until I finally zoned in on it. Trust me, I have been where you are.

      I find that I have to really dig for my “one thing”, and sometimes, have to really stretch my curiosity and think outside the box. I call it “doing the homework” cuz let’s face it, sometimes I don’t wanna go on a dig! But I always do. I have to be true to the process and thusly, myself.

      Whether it’s looking forward to when the tulips you planted bloom or the first snowfall, whether it’s the Game of Thrones premiere or seeing how a good book is going to end… there is always something.

      Don’t give up, Jess.


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