Category: Mental Health

Depression

Surviving Depression – Managing your New Year’s expectations

Liana

Oh, the promise of a new year. It can be intoxicating. That thought of putting all the crap from the prior year behind you and beginning anew. You make resolutions, promises to self and those around you. You raise a fist in the air. “This is MY year!” “This year is going to be awesome!” “This year I’m going to be happy!”

By FrameAngel, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net
By FrameAngel, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

All good. Definitely things to work towards. But for the depressed person, despite the daily wellness we wish and strive for, the daily wellness that others take for granted, we are at the mercy of our illness. To steal a quote from a movie, we are “at the whim of a madman!”

For some of us, our resolutions sound quite different. “This year, my depression won’t own me.” “This year, I’ll try to be happy… I really will try.” “This year, I’ll try not to hurt myself.”

I implore you to reach out for support. It can be as simple as following a depression support handle on Twitter to reading a depression blog online to joining a support group at your local church or community centre. If you haven’t already, seek medical advice and while lacking motivation is a key and often debilitating symptom of depression – be your own wellness advocate. If one doctor doesn’t work, find another. Insist on the appropriate referrals. Read up on your illness and take charge. Take it from someone who knows, someone who has been on the proverbial ledge deciding whether to die or live, depression can be managed. There is light in your seemingly pitch black tunnel.

Here are a few coping tips for managing your New Year’s expectations:

  1. Do NOT make resolutions! Make small, daily goals that are realistic and attainable for you.
  2. Understand that you are sick, not weak! Seek support. Be your own wellness advocate.
  3. Laughter is cathartic! Watch funny movies, television and funny animal videos on YouTube.
  4. Get some exercise (I am really bad at this one). Exercise is proven to help every kind of ailment.
  5. Know yourself and your triggers. A depressive cycle may be avoided by steering clear of those situations that trigger them.

New Year’s eve can be especially difficult for a lot of people, especially those with depression. Reach out. You are not alone.

Depression, Menopause, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

Surviving Depression – The Dark Months Begin

Liana

It’s been about 4 weeks now since the clocks were changed for daylight savings. It’s dark in the morning when I leave my house for work and it’s dark in the evening when I leave work to go home. For a person with depression, knowing that this is just the start of the dark months, is a truly daunting prospect.

I’ve lived a great many Canadian winters. Having just turned 50, I’m facing my 50th winter. As a person with chronic depression, I’ve also been diagnosed with SAD (seasonal affective disorder). It’s all part of the same chronic disorder, if you ask me. Chronic depression is merely heightened during the dark months. I’m also perimenopausal so I’m at an even greater risk of letting the darkness swallow me up. I must be cautious, and very aware of my symptoms. Depression symptoms can come on very quickly. I’ll be doing fine (well, “fine” for me) and then BAM, ignored symptoms will knock me off my feet.

So, I have a dark months checklist:

  1. Take vitamin D.
  2. Use my SAD lamp (see video below).
  3. Avoid oversleeping.
  4. Try (try) to get some exercise.
  5. Practice gratitude at least once a day.
  6. Go easy on myself.

It’s a short list. But so important. Especially that last one.

My husband laughed at me today because when I come downstairs in the morning, I open all the window blinds. He prefers to keep them shut. His reasoning – it’s so grey and ugly outside, why would I want to see that? My response? Simple. I need to see the daylight.

Anxiety, Depression

Surviving Depression – Help a Friend

Liana

I am recovering from depression. What I mean by this is that my chronic depression is well managed and provided I stay on my medication, I will remain in recovery.

Having had three major depressive episodes over the past thirteen year, I’m in a very unique position. I have lived through deep depression, gotten very close to committing suicide… and survived. In having survived, I feel blessed because I am now able to help a dear friend. She too suffers from depression.

This friend of mine is a “work” friend. Though we’ve known each other for over five years, likely suffering side-by-side in shameful silence, it wasn’t until about a year ago where I said the words out loud.

“I suffer from depression.”

It was part of my talk therapy, really. Talking about my depression. Which is hard enough with family and close friends but to admit to a work friend that you have depression can be daunting and scary and in some cases, career limiting.

But, as soon as I said it, I could see a calm, knowing look in her eyes. She has depression too. Finally, it was out there. Finally, we could talk about it.

The thing about being friends with people at work – you know when they’re off “sick” for a few days in a row. In my friend’s case, this has been a repeating pattern every few months or so – a pattern I know only too well having lived it myself. To her credit, my friend called me during the last absence and asked me for advice. She hadn’t done this before.

I openly shared my experiences with her and was happy to do so. It felt good to be able to help someone who is suffering as I have, though I wish the circumstances were different.

Recovering from Depression? Help a Friend.
By hin255, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

I have, and likely always will have, chronic depression. It can be really tough, particularly in the long, cold months of winter. But I survive. Day after day, night after night, I survive. As the months and years of my life fly by, I survive. If every 1 depression survivor, reached out and helped another person suffering with depression… and then they helped someone… and then they helped someone… we could build a tremendous web of support and love.

It doesn’t take much. Just reach out…

Anxiety

Anxiety Never Forgets

Liana

I had my first anxiety attack when I was around ten years of age. I didn’t know that was it was at the time. I woke very early in the morning out of a dead sleep. It was summer, the sun was up but it was still only 5:30-ish in the morning. I wondered why I couldn’t fall back to sleep, since I had never had a problem with that before. My heart began to race and I became inexplicably… scared! I remember going upstairs, opening the front door and sitting on the front step where I proceeded to calm myself. I distinctly remember the warm, morning sun on my face… paired with utter confusion as to what had just happened to me.

By Stuart Miles, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.com
By Stuart Miles, courtesy of freedigitalphotos.com

It wasn’t until years later and several hundred anxiety attacks later, that I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder.

I’m 49 years old and am happy to say that I haven’t had a full blown anxiety attack for about eight years.

But the truth is that, anxiety never forgets. It never really leaves you alone.

This week, I traveled to Malta (small island in the Mediterranean) to visit my sister who lives here. It takes anywhere from 13 to 18 hours to get from Ontario, Canada to Malta but I’ve made the trip a few times before. We lived in Malta when I was little (between the ages 6 and 9), went again in 2007, 2011 and in January 2014. My point, I suppose, is that I was used to the trip, the jet lag, the fatigue and the excitement. What I wasn’t prepared for was the anxiety attack I had a few hours after I arrived.

My anxiety attacks have presented themselves in several different forms throughout my life. More recently (8-ish years ago), my anxiety presented itself as a burning fire beginning deep inside me and traveling throughout my body to the very tips of my fingers and toes.

Standing in my sister’s guest bathroom, organizing my toiletries, I felt the familiar and most unwelcome fire in my core. My heart began to race, my breathing quickened. I knew exactly what was happening but couldn’t fathom why! I had to remind myself that anxiety never forgets. I had to dig deep to find some of the coping skills that I’d happily buried over the years that I’ve been anxiety attack free.

The attack passed within a few minutes, blessedly. But, since that first attack, I’ve had a few smaller attacks. It this the start of another phase of my anxiety? While I know it is related to brain chemistry (fight or flight chemicals), I still have to wonder, why?

Why, after all these years, did my brain chemistry misfire?

Who bloody well knows?

I’ve said it several times during this blog. Anxiety never forgets. Anxiety may sit dormant, as it did for me. But what is most important, what I learned about myself, is that the coping skills never go away. I remembered them. I recognized the anxiety as it was starting and was able to kick start my coping skills right away.

Some of these anxiety coping skills are:

  • Breathe; slow and deep. Do not hyperventilate.
  • Positive self-talk; remember this is an illness. Brain chemistry can misfire at any time.
  • Stay calm; there is a thin line between anxiety and panic. Try to distract yourself.

I still have ten days on the island of Malta. I’ve had one major and two minor anxiety attacks. While I hope this isn’t the start of several anxiety-riddled years, I know that I can cope, no matter what.

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